2007年10月3日 星期三
So terrible! Few days ago, in the middle of the night, I was sleeping, suddenly, my friend called me,and he told me that he was drunk and wanted me to give him a ride. "What?!" I roused suddenly from my sleep at 3 a.m. and didn't know what happened. Being worried about him, I decided to take him home. When I got there, he was chundering and so chippy. Therefore, I took him home and thought about myself. Few weeks ago, I was drunk at the pub, and my friend took me home. I still remembered the feeling of that, so dizzy that I couldn't stand straight ! With these experiences, I won't let myself be drunk anymore, because that is so embarrassed and awful.
訂閱：
張貼留言 (Atom)
1 則留言:
"Few days ago," ==> "A few days ago,"
"sleeping, suddenly". This is a comma splice. It should be a period because these are two separate sentences. You can join them with a subordinating conjunction, e.g., "sleeping, when suddenly my friend called and told me": "my friend called me,and he told me" is verbose.
"didn't know what happened" ==> maybe "didn't know what was happening".
"I still remembered the feeling of that, so dizzy that I couldn't stand straight !" ==> "I can still remember feeling so dizzy that I couldn't stand straight." Verbose, so cut out the useless words. Also, there's no space before any punctuation mark in English ever, except in some dictionaries. Finally, don't use exclamation points unless they're required.
"that is so embarrassed and awful" ==> "it is so embarrassing and awful". This misuse of the /-ed/ form, the past participle, instead of the /-ing/ form, the present participle, is a typical error made by native speakers of Chinese. The present participle means that A causes B: "Getting drunk causes me to feel embarrassed". The past participle describes a state of being or condition: "I was embarrassed because I was drunk".
But your post is well written and clear nonetheless.
張貼留言